You know you want one. It won't be necessary to run the fingerprints on the glass or examine the puddle of drool for DNA-- we've seen you steaming up the store windows with your pathetic panting, dreaming of bringing home the America 16 table tennis table by Stag. While we could self-righteously remind you of the teachings of the Buddha, specifically the bit about desire being the root of all suffering, we're with you on this one. It's a sweet table, and it can be yours for the low, low price of... nothing. Well, there there will be some start-up costs, but if you are reading this anywhere outside of a public library, you have probably paid them already. All you will need is the means to shoot a video and post it on social media, which you can likely accomplish with the device currently in your hand. As you may have guessed, a deal this good is only a limited-time offer. The deadline is April 6th, the global celebration that is World Table Tennis Day. Last year's event saw 700,000 people playing table tennis in 107 countries. This year, of course, everything has changed due to the COVID-19 pandemic. As all informed and responsible people in the world are inside their homes, or social distancing when they must venture out of doors, there will be no such raucous revelry in the streets as seen last year. Thus was born World Table Tennis at Home Day 2020. The ITTF is sifting through untold thousands of home table tennis videos to edit together into the world's longest rally, to be shared along with other videos at #SafeTableTennis. The USATT, for its part, is offering the aforementioned Stag table to promote the modified celebration. Simply submit your creative home table tennis video (trick shots, crazy rallies, etc.) to the hashtag #PongPositive for a chance to win the table of your dreams. So, to recap, stay safe, stay positive, and for goodness' sake please stop smudging the glass. We know it's you.

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