"If you like laws and sausages," quipped Otto von Bismarck, "you should never watch either one being made." While neither trade is for the weak of stomach, one comes with a considerably better benefit package. For those inside the Beltway who long for the simple pleasures of an honest day's work and a fun way to unwind afterward, a nine-hour drive to Louisville, Kentucky is just what the doctor ordered. There, aptly located on the border of the Germantown and Smoketown neighborhoods, you will find Red Top Gourmet Hotdogs. Only when one walks inside does the meaning behind the name register. When your eyes adjust to the inside light, you might rub them when you see three amply spaced ping-pong tables, each custom painted with a red top. More than idle amusement for frank-ophiles, the triptych of tables is what Red Top calls its "Ping Pong Emporium." While casual play is certainly encouraged, things get serious on a weekly basis. "Ping pong tournament every Wednesday @ 6pm," reads Red Top's website. In keeping with the latest COVID-19 protocols for competitive table tennis, the tournament is singles only, with masks and social distancing required. While double-elimination tournament is free to enter, do endeavor to keep your temper—each broken ball will cost you 50 cents. As you work up an appetite, you will be tempted not only the promised gourmet hot dogs but also "wild game sausage." While there will certainly be some wild games fueled by said sausages, it is still best to avoid peeking back in the kitchen to see how they are made. It's the law.
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