With his 7'9" wingspan, French-born Utah Jazz center Rudy Gobert has been dubbed "The Stifle Tower." Now, his well-documented preoccupation with another sport is causing some to question his true allegiances. In 2013, Gobert was just an undistinguished player from France with a singular skeletal structure. After declaring for the NBA draft, a reporter asked what sports he played growing up. "I don’t like soccer," said the heavily-accented 21-year-old. "I did boxing, athletics, karate, ping-pong, too." Over the ensuing year, as Gobert matured into one of the best players in the NBA, he was consistently spotted sneaking away to his first love, le tennis de table. In the NBA bubble which concluded the 2019-2020 season, delayed by COVID-19, much was made of the elaborate safety protocols. Of all the guidelines in the 113-page manual, the one to make the most headlines was the ban on doubles in ping-pong. When Gobert's Jazz teammates Joe Ingles and Jordan Clarkson facetiously lamented their inability to team up on the table, the center rebounded with some serious smack talk. "You'll lose one after the other," trolled Gobert. "It's cool." It is not cool, however, how they wound up in the bubble. Although an NBA shutdown was inevitable due to the pandemic, Gobert certainly hastened the process with his regrettable behavior. Shortly before becoming the first known NBA player to test positive for the virus, Gobert flouted the nascent social distance rules, going so far as to childishly touch a group of reporters' microphones. Even when recovering from the coronavirus, Gobert could not help but discuss the sport closest to his heart. "A few days ago, I was running out of steam faster than before," Gobert described. "At ping-pong for example, or with things I usually do very easily." Luckily for Gobert, he has recovered well enough to lead the Jazz to the best record in the NBA. Jazz coach Quin Snyder made a tactical error in revealing the secret to their success. "We got a ping-pong table and that may have been the best team-building exercise," Snyder confided. While the table has paid dividends for the Jazz, don't expect Gobert to take it easy on his teammates just to boost morale. "I haven’t been around a player that wants to win as bad Rudy does, even in ping pong," Snyder continued. "Rudy’s importing new paddles because they fit his game." With his condor-like wingspan, it is a tall order to get a shot past Rudy Gobert. When his NBA career is over, don't be surprised if you find the biggest Frenchman since Andre the Giant across the table at your local club. Then, you will join the legions of NBA players who have gotten blocked by "The Stifle Tower."
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